Virtual human development game

www.human-age.com

check out this game so I can make some moolah.

Okay so it wasnt the big deal I thought it was. We got back together in a week and explained everything that had wrong in our relationship to eachother. :) So it turned out to be a blessing because we're really working on treating eachother better these days.

anyways, I wont be writing on this blog anymore. I dont want my blog linked to a bunch of middle classed, middle aged, We-should-petition-against-everyone-I-disagree-with, bitches.

I lied. Jay is not the most faithful, honest husband. In fact, he is the epitome of a bad boyfriend. He is the loser I reminded myself never to love, the bain of my existence, and the end to all things holy in the world.
Here I sit, with my three month old son, alone and scared. My fiance was the worst thing to cross my path since methamphetamine. I loathe his existence and desire nothing more than to break his neck, and yet nothing more than to hold onto him forever.
Four days ago my fiance and I got into an argument. A normal argument. An argument we had been having quite frequently. He just couldn't stop replying to everything I said in an angry way, a mean way. He looked at me as though he wished nothing more than for me to burst into flames.
I cried in the end, and before I knew it we were in a fallout. I spend three days trying to get him to talk to me, to say more than two words. He wouldn't. Eventually though, my pathetic love for him gave in and I succumbed to apologizing. I was nice and sweet, I apologized profusely, I did everything. Still he was a jerk.
At the end of our fight I begged him to stop me from leaving, but he wouldn't. So I left. Worse than that though, I came back. I came back to nothingness and a half-assed excuse for an apology.
Finally though, he looked me in the eye and said " I don't love you." Then kindly repeated it to me for an entire night. He cuddled with me that night, then told me the next day it meant nothing.
I wish I could put more detail but I'm still in so much shock. I just feel like we've said the same things over and over. I feel like I can't beg him anymore, I can't ask him, I can't yell at him, and I can't talk to him. We're over.
It sounds so sick to say it. Me and Jay, over. My best friend, my only love, my entire family. I trusted him with everything. He had always been so good to me, so true to me. I never felt more secure in anything than our love.
I just keep asking how. How could you fall out of love? How could you love me so much for so long and then just stop? Who does that? Who wakes up and just says, " I think I'll destroy my family and break the heart of the ONLY person in my life."
Then I told him he still loved me. I said he had to. I said who could just stop? You're lying, I know you're lying. He wasn't. He didn't have to tell me more than once. He already looked at me in those " My crazy ex girlfriend" eyes.
It was the first moment in my life that I envied women who'd been cheated on. I would rather him want to be with someone else than to just stop loving me. He doesn't even hate me. Why can't he hate me? Why can't he want to kill me he's so passionately in hate with me?
I want him to scream, to hit me, to freak out! I want him to feel, just feel anything. He's so empty. He's so heartless. He's so cold.
He loved me for two years! Two years! I had his son! He's not an assholey guy even. He's a lover, a sweetheart. He worshipped me! I've never been loved so much! How could that same person care so little?
I wish I could care so little. I wish I was him. He's so lucky. He has no pain, no baby, no responsibility. He just gets to walk away. It's me who has to tell his son that daddy wanted me gone and his only reason why was " I don't know." He doesn't know why he can't be your father, why he can't be my husband. Why after two years of obvious romantic love, he just crapped out on me.

It wasn't long before I heard a car pull up in the back yard(which was fenceless), the voices of Merrill and John breaking into the party. A reasonable person would have done pretty much anything except what I did. I ran out into the backyard and attempted to claw my way through the crowd to Merrill, then screamed drunken obscenities at anyone who held me back.

Merrill was clearly in love with Stacy, staring at her in a pleading way as he told her to leave Jay. His eyes spoke of the same hurt that I felt, his smile empty as empty as my heart. From that moment, I never could have hit him. I felt his pain, sensed his longing, and knew that the only whore in this house was unrequited love.

Stacy insisted that she was in love with my knight in shining heartbreak, persisting on until the end. I watched helplessly as they got off the bench, Merrill staring helplessly on the other side. What a sick game we were playing, me and Merrill. We had been together, they had been together, and the two of us were the only ones paying the price.

I left for a quick burger break, stuffing my face in a way only a lush can truly enjoy. I came back to the hippie den in better spirits then when I left, as I had gone in a topless car. Nothing could revive my spirit as well as the fresh night air on my face.

" Stacy's gone." My friend said as I walked in. Her face was knowing, and she quickly added, " Jay is in the other room."

I barely had time to walk in before he was upon me, " I love you." He said, " and I mean it. You don't have to say it back, but will you give me another chance?"

My head began rambling, immediately insisting upon saying no. How could you accept that lousy bastard? He's a liar, a cheat, a whore. Then I remembered Merrill. I remembered the way his eyes pleaded with hers, the way I wondered if mine had done the same to Jay's. Even if he broke my heart again, I knew I'd rather try than lose him forever.

Now we're obviously still together. He turned out to be the most faithful man I've ever dated, honest, and a good father. He told me later on that he had felt the same way about me. That he had watched me everyday with the same aching heart, thinking I had never loved him to begin with. What a sick irony, isn't it? Four people, four broken hearts.

Anyways, that is the story I wanted to tell two months ago. Perhaps I got a little carried away.

Chaos broke out within minutes. Jay had been deemed an outsider, unworthy of protection from a Pahrumpian, and it was time to start hiding pitch forks. He headed for the electric box, oblivious from anyone's wrath but mine, Stacy still clinging onto his hand like a Nicole Richie shaped bracelet.

" Stacy's coming with me tonight." Jay said. She shot me a look when he said it, saying everything she needed to say without even a blink. She had won. She had both my love and my boy toy, and she had taught my whorey self a lesson.

The hippie den dwellers nodded in agreement, but insisted they didn't have the room for anyone in the car. We were going to walk. I was going to walk half a mile with Jay and Stacy, then sleep mere feet from wherever they chose to cuddle. I was going to be drunk, that part I can assure you.

Merrill had been joined by several more people, including John. His three hundred pounds of fat were larger in width than Jay was tall. I can only assume now that he intended to knock him over and then suffocate him between the folds above his belly button. However, he was a very large man and there was obvious unfairness in the fact that Jay could not reach his face.

It was time to leave. Jay attempted to stand up to Yogi the Bear, but I was not so foolish. John would be able to punch Jay in the face with his knee, without actually having to expend any energy. I gathered a couple men, reminded Merrill that I was personally going to kill him, then escorted the happy couple to the hippie den.

The walk was not a particularly long one, probably because everytime I caught a glimpse of Jay and Stacy I managed to increase my speed to an almost inhuman one. My anger was growing into a monster, and I truly hated Jay. How dare he tell me he loved me. I had wanted it to be true, I had hoped so badly it was real. Now here I was, protecting him and the girl he wanted more than me. I screamed in silence, wondering why he couldn't just leave my heart alone.

"Hey!" the voices rang out in harmony, twenty people coming upon us as we arrived. I couldn't tell the difference between them, I just ran to the nearest person with booze in his hand. It was a tall, italian man holding a full bottle of liquor, which we happily split between us.

Saying I was shocked would be like saying Hugh Heffner liked women. It didn't really need to be said. I struggled for words, my heart and my brain still in a tragic battle for my mouth.

" What about Stacy?" I asked, filling time while I ran through the logistics in my head. He loved me, he actually loved me back. But what if he was lying? What if he wanted Stacy, and I was just his second choice? I wasn't going to be another one of his girlfriends that just filled the obvious void in his heart.

" I'm not in love with Stacy, I'm in love with you." he said. His face was pleading, but my heart froze as I said,
" I'm sorry, I can't. Go back to Stacy."

I followed him outside, where I saw Stacy and her friend lying on the concrete around the electric box. She didn't look at Jay, or even talk to him. My suspicions were confirmed. He obviously chose me as his second choice.

I spent the next three hours jogging back and forth from the Nugget to the electric box, as Jay insisted he could not leave until he talked to her(we were going to the hippie den).I was sure I would rather have eaten my own eyeballs then watch them make up, but I wanted him to be happy. With or without me.

When night had fallen and everyone in Pahrump had congregated at the Nugget, Jay disappeared into the desert with Stacy. I staggered back and forth between excitement and depression, hoping that he was telling her he loved me and feeling guilty for thinking it. I stood near the concrete where the desert began, waiting as if he was annoying me.

" Are Jay and Stacy up there?" it was Merrill's voice that said it. He was not alone, but rather flanked by two muscular teenage boys.

" Yeah, they are." I said.

" Good. We're gonna kick Jay's ass." He said, laughing as though I'd suddenly want to join in.

" No, you're not." I replied, pulling myself up and walking into him. I stood mere centimeters from him when I said, " you'll have to get through me first."

It worked. I must have had a secret bodyguard behind me, because threatening those boys was enough to keep them at bay. We all huddled near the entrance to the desert, doing a sort of step dance to see who would get to him first.

Half an hour later, the boys gave up on our aerobic threat dance and walked into the Nugget. I, meanwhile, called to Jay. I was fighting the urge to kick his ass myself as I saw him come down with Stacy, glancing at me in guilt and still holding her bony hand.

I did what any sane woman would do that night to escape the questions, I went home with my ex boyfriend, Eric. Oh, did I say any sane woman? I meant any ridiculusly stupid woman. He was tall, dark, and had an amazing body. Not to mention the fact that he had never gotten over how much he loved me and my ass.

It was an awkward night to say the least. I believe the only two words we said to eachother were along the lines of " Nice night." Then an uncomfortable nod followed and we both ran to seperate rooms. He was like an ogre in tennis shoes. If you didn't want to have sex with him, you better want to fight him. Those were the only two things he understood.

The next day we walked to the Nugget in what must have been the fiery pits of hell. The sun giggled madly at us as it melted the skin down our backs. I regretted wearing my enormous, chained man shorts and long sleeved shirt as I stared jealously at Eric's now naked back. Why can only men walk down the street shirtless?

When we arrived, exhausted and ready for death, the doorman didn't let him in. Apparently eric was the only man in the world not able to comprehend the "no shirt, no service" sign, as he didn't bring a shirt. Someone should have pointed at it and grunted, perhaps they'd stumble upon his language.

So I went in by myself, where Jay walked straight into me. He pulled me into the little nook by the bathroom, tears trying desperately not to fall down his face.

" I love you." He said.