whoohoo for the longness

He was sitting on the steps outside the Nugget, surrounded by a crowd of people who worshipped him. I don't why he even bothered with the theatrics, he might as well parade around naked with an orange cone on his head. It would be the only way he'd be satisfied with his attention level.

Next to him, was an enormously fat and pompous man. He was talking to my favorite security guard(I loved this guy)and making it blatantly obvious that he was a sexist.I don't remember what I said to him, but it was probably along the lines of " Shut the fuck up you twinkie chasing loser." which seemed to keep him quiet for about ten seconds.

Then, because my life is a really long joke to god, it turned out that he was Merrill's best friend and we would be hanging out with him tonight. Yay, I thought, now the only thing worse would be if Stacy was coming. Oh wait, did I mention Stacy was coming?And did I mention they were also best friends?

So I got inside the hell mobile, hoping fatty was a good driver. Merrill made me sit with Stacy in the backseat, which he had to physically force her to do. She seemed to think sitting next to me would turn her into a purple haired,tattooed, whore. I reassured her that it was not contagious, but I did have a seizure disorder that caused me to accidentally punch people in the face.

The twinkie killer(okay I'll stop, you get the idea)decided the only thing fun for us to do would be to drive into the middle of the desert and race around like we had a suicide pact. I had a car phobia. A year before I had gotten into a car with my ex boyfriend and ran out of it, saying that someone was going to die. Turns out my friend died in a car accident that night, which never left my head.So I freaked out a little. Or alot. Either way, John threatened to hit me and Merrill did not respond. What a knight in shining armor he was.

I wasn't afraid of John though, so we ended up spending the whole night talking about how much we hated eachother. I even bonded with Stacy a little, laughing because she hated him too. I was beginning to like her a little bit by the end of the night. She was childish, but cute.

When I crawled into Merrill's window that night, I was fighting a battle I couldn't win. On one hand, I was desperate for a distraction from Jay. Someone I could occupy my mind with, someone I could flaunt in front of him and publicly show that I clearly couldn't be in love with Jay. Yet at the same time, I was begging myself not to do it.

At Merrill's house, we were putting on a good show. We were sitting in his bed again, having a neverending conversation. I wished desperately that I truly cared when he started flirting with me. I touched him back, flirted back, and eventually kissed him back. I just didn't know who the person was that was doing it, when I was the one screaming for help in the background.

He tried to kill me. He sucked on my neck like it had personally insulted his mother. I thought I was going to bleed to death. Surely this man must be a vampire, sucking the soul right out of my veins. I cried out in pain, but that only seemed to make it worse.

He kept going, biting me, poking me, and attempting to have sex with my pants. He was a horrible lover. Worse than that though, every touch just made me wish it were Jay. I had come here searching for someone to make me forget him, but instead he was only reminding me of how much I missed him.

When he started to unzip his pants, I'd have enough. Vampire penis wasn't getting anywhere near me tonight, so I pulled some fake innocence out of my heart.

" We're moving too fast, I can't do this on the first night." I said, pushing him away in a playful virgin kind of way.

It seemed to keep him happy, because he spent the next hour telling me he had always wanted to touch me. How sweet, I thought, your biggest feelings for me pretty much arrived from your vampire penis. Still, I agreed to "go out" with him.